Psychosocial support

Anger and irritability

Anger is an emotion that can range from mild irritation to intense rage. People can get angry when they feel threatened, harmed or powerless. Some veterans may experience anger more often in everyday situations because of a traumatic event from their past military experience, such as combat, physical or sexual abuse, injury, or the loss of a unit mate. Others may experience anger due to the stress of life events such as leaving the service, changing jobs, retirement, or family or workplace disputes.

While differing in some respects from anger, irritability has a general tendency to be mildly frustrated or impatient. Sometimes irritability causes people to lash out at others, which can damage personal and work relationships.

Persistent anger and irritability can be harmful to a person’s health, causing problems such as high blood pressure, headaches, ulcers and other diseases.

For most veterans, anger and irritability do not interfere with their daily lives. However, if the signs and symptoms associated with anger and irritability affect your work, relationships, or activities, or seem to occur all the time, it may be a sign of underlying issues that need to be addressed. This is especially dangerous when uncontrolled emotions push you into reckless behaviour.

Reckless behaviour

Reckless behaviour can be manifested in risky and dangerous activities, a tendency to take things to extremes, spending large amounts of money on whims, not obeying speed limits and traffic lights, and fighting with people who annoy you. Many people who constantly commit reckless acts seek a sense of excitement without thinking about the consequences of their actions.

Serving in the military, especially if you have been in a war zone, can sometimes require that you take some risks to stay alive and protect yourself. However, risky behaviour on a regular basis – especially after returning from combat or just to get an adrenaline rush – can lead to serious injury or death.

Therefore, working with a psychologist can save not only your relationships with others, but also your life, which you risk too much.

Returning from army service

Returning to civilian life creates new opportunities but also brings challenges for veterans. Many veterans look forward to life after the military because they can spend more time with family and friends and no longer have to worry about the military structure or combat. At the same time, leaving the army can pose many complications.

Although most veterans are eager to return home, the transition from military to civilian life can be difficult as soldiers must adapt to new routines and environments, often with limited support. The loss of the camaraderie and order that defined military life can also be difficult to accept.

In addition, soldiers may suffer psychological trauma from their service, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which can have a significant impact on their ability to reintegrate into civilian life. They may also find it difficult to find meaningful employment, as their military training and experience may not translate into civilian activities. These challenges can cause feelings of disorientation and frustration, making the transition to civilian life a difficult and stressful experience for many soldiers.

Whether you served during war or in peacetime, your experiences – both positive and negative – have made you a different person than you were before the army and may have changed the way you look at things and interact with people. Stressful or traumatic situations may have led to habits or coping mechanisms that may be misunderstood or problematic in civilian life. Without psychological help, these conditions can destroy lives and tear families apart.

Social isolation and its consequences

Social isolation is avoiding people and activities that you used to enjoy. You may want to be alone because you feel that being with other people is tiring or upsetting. Sometimes there can be a vicious circle where the more time you spend alone, the less you feel that people understand you. And the less you feel that people understand you, the more you want to be alone. For some people, this can progress to the point where you may even avoid contact with family and close friends and just be alone most of the time.

People who have experienced traumatic events – whether they have served in the military or not – also sometimes withdraw or isolate themselves. Some veterans show signs of social isolation during the transition from military to civilian life or during other major life changes. Other veterans and service members may have avoided other people and activities for a long time and become uncomfortable being around other people.

The consequences of this isolation can include loneliness, relationship problems, substance abuse and sleep problems. If left unchecked, social isolation or isolation can lead to depression and even feelings of hopelessness, where it seems like your life is worthless and it is hard to imagine that things will ever get better.

Such a person may feel overwhelmed, trapped, insecure or have great self-doubt. You may think that the difficulties are insurmountable or that the problems you face have no solutions.

At some point in your life, you may have already experienced some of these feelings because it is part of being human. However, when hopelessness goes on for a while, is time-consuming, or bothers you, it can be a signal that you need outside support. Sometimes hopelessness can even lead to thoughts of falling asleep and not waking up, or to plans to harm yourself and end your life.

If your feelings of hopelessness are accompanied by any of the following symptoms, you should seek help immediately:

– You consider yourself a burden to others.

– You think you would be better off dead, make plans to harm yourself, or think about suicide.

– You are not taking care of yourself as well as you need to to stay alive.

Any of these thoughts or behaviours need attention. If you are having serious thoughts about death or suicide, or are thinking about hurting or killing yourself, it is important to talk to someone right away. Please call the hotline for victims of war at 0 800 211 444 or the crisis line for veterans from the Ukrainian Veterans Fund: 0 800 33 20 29.

Relationships with friends and family 

Relationships with friends, family and colleagues can have a big impact on your daily life. The love, support and friendship of the people who care about you can make the good times even better and help you through the bad times. Often, veterans become closer to their families and friends when they face difficult situations; however, there are times when difficult experiences or unhealthy relationships with family members, friends or acquaintances can cause excessive stress or challenges.

Some veterans return home from the frontline and immediately notice that everything is different. Others may initially enjoy being at home and seeing family and friends, but then, as the joyous feeling wears off, they notice that their lives are not the same as when they left for service. It’s completely understandable to want to spend some time alone after a busy or stressful period, or if you feel like others can’t understand what you went through during your time in the military. The things that bother your family and friends may no longer seem so important to you. Your family and friends may also notice that you have changed and they may feel hurt, confused or sad. Your loved ones may feel uncomfortable around you because they don’t know what to say or do to make you feel comfortable.

However, your withdrawal and lack of contact with family and friends can sometimes lead to social isolation, depression or relationship conflicts, and this can make you feel worse over time. It is important for your well-being, as well as the well-being of those around you, to take time to reconnect with others. Our family psychologists can help you restore peace in your family and regain your peace of mind.

Death of family member or friend

Losing a friend or loved one is always difficult and can sometimes be traumatic. Whether your grandfather died of old age, your wife after a long illness, or you lost a comrade-in-arms in combat, these losses are painful. There is no “right” way to react to the loss of a friend or relative. Grief is a highly personal reaction that is unique to you and the nature of your loss.

Some veterans experience traumatic grief after the sudden death of a family member or friend, or after witnessing multiple losses, such as during combat, a natural disaster or an accident. Perhaps you have lost a friend in your unit and you are constantly thinking about what you could have done to prevent it. Or perhaps you are filled with anger at others who you believe caused the death.

Grief is a natural response to the loss of a loved one or friend, and it has a wide range of responses. However, prolonged grieving, left unattended, can lead to loss of meaning in life, depression, and even suicidal ideation. Therefore, it is imperative to see a psychotherapist and receive proper support.